Personal Evolution

     Recently I started finding myself hitting a wall with my art. It's a frustrating feeling since I can tell that I have been evolving my style yet again but have been dealing with a thick cloud of uncertainty of what I should do, especially since I have been working on customer projects during this transition. What's worse is these walls I find myself up against have been occurring since the passing of loved ones and the temporary closure of the main gallery I was with (which I mentioned in my entry 2014 - The Year of Bad Dice Rolls ). Could all of this be connected or just a really strange coincidence? Not sure but saying that I want to scream and cry is an understatement. 

     Talking to some of my close friends about it, I realized that I have actually never done a piece of work just for myself. Nearly all of the work that I have done since high school, college and my professional art life has always been for other people. The only things that I can actually say I made for ME has been 3 things - a small mural on my bedroom door, and the 2 tattoos I currently have which both have stories behind them. It was then one of my friends suggested that I be selfish for a moment and do a painting for myself. I have to admit that the idea thrilled and scared me at the same time. What about the customer projects that I had lined up, including her own order? She told me not to worry since even I needed to do something for myself. After so many years of taking care of other people and making others smile when they were in a grey place, I actually found myself uncertain over putting myself first for once. 

     As I work on my personal project, which I will share in a later update once I'm finished, I found myself wondering about the personal works of other artists. Taking a look, I found a small handful of works and projects that grabbed my attention that I thought would be nice to share with you. Each one has powerful, personal stories behind them. 

PaperandDust.deviantart.com (Australia) 

Journal Project by PaperandDust

A traditional artist who mostly specializes in watercolors, Marni has a wonderfully colorful body of work which almost has a dreamscape quality. In 2011 she worked on a personal project which involved creating a creative and colorful collection of journals which she gave to her classmates when they neared their graduation in order for them to record the next chapter of their lives. A wonderfully thoughtful gesture which had a very personal touch. 

Project 27 4.15.09 by Project-27

Project-27.deviantart.com (United States) 
Angela, a photographer from Alabama, has been doing a constant 365 project which she shares on her gallery. For those not familiar with the 365 project, it involves a self portrait of the person involved everyday for a year. Her most powerful image from her project back in 2009, in my opinion, has the simple title of Project 27 4.15.09. She gathered all of the photos she had taken during the year and included herself on top of the collage of images. It's certainly interesting seeing how she evolves with each day. 

k04sk.deviantart.com (United States) 

Finally Some Personal Time
by k04sk

Graphic artist Kalen has a great many works on display in his gallery. Specializing in concept work, the various environments he's created are so tantalizing that it's a shame they do not exist here in our plane. Hidden among his cornucopia of images is one titled Finally Some Personal Time which was done in 2011. He created it after moving to a new location and wanted to test his skills out at that point. I believe he achieved something magical. 

LilleahWest.deviantart.com (United States) 
A custom fursuit creator for customers attending various conventions, Lilleah did a large scale personal project in 2013 in honor of her sister. In the description of the image, she goes on to explain: 

My Sister's Wish
by Lilleah West

These color suits really really mean something special to us...
in July 2012 my sister, her boyfriend and her 4 dogs were all hit by a speeding drunk while in the crosswalk... only my sister survived.... 
She has been unable to walk since the incident.
In autumn we found out my sister would more than likely be unable to quadsuit at FC due to needing a bone graft operation in December... and her purple suit is the only 2 legged one she has...

This multi-suit personal project is something my sister has been wanting to see happen since she created the purple suit 3 years ago.
When I learned she still would be unable to walk/quadsuit come FC is when I began producing 8 fursuits in record time, all in just under 2 months. With sewing help from my niece and her two teenage furry friends I was able to make my sister's wish for this year's FC come true. 

Tiny Closet Masterpieces

Everyone can appreciate the skill and hard work that goes into costuming. With Cosplay season starting up once again, I am constantly delighted by my photographing buddies such as Hexlord of Black Rabbit Photography and several others sharing not only their own captures but those of their friends. With all of these beautiful creations happening, it made me want to highlight something on a bit smaller scale - costuming for BJDs. BJDs or Ball Jointed Dolls have their own circle of appreciators and range in size from 3 or 4 inches in height to about 18 inches in height. There are several companies where someone can order blank dolls from so that they can customize them themselves but there are a hand full of individuals who actually make the dolls completely from scratch. As beautiful as the process is, I will leave that for another day and feature the clothing of these tiny masterpieces.

"Untitled" by AyuAna

AyuAna.deviantart.com (Poland) 
Ayu & Ana Designs was created by two young ladies who joined forces to create lovely dresses for BJDs. Ranging from Lolita to historical recreations to pure fantasy, the pair make the garments and head dresses for these tiny dolls. In some of the descriptions for the photos of their work, they explain what they were aiming to do and what types of fabrics they used. 

Etsy: Ayu & Ana Designs 

"Vaffee new dress" by Aurikka

Aurikka.deviantart.com (Russia)
Ann has many unique creations displayed in her gallery. Using glass seed beads and an array of various fabrics, the clothing for her dolls are absolutely stunning. She makes sure that no detail on these tiny articles of clothing is overlooked which causes some stunning results. One such piece is a beaded dress for her doll Vaffee which shows intricate details. 

"Commission 117" by Mio27

mio27.deviantart.com (Poland) 
Mio's creations are a mix of traditional representations of Polish and medieval with some modern and fantasy pieces. Using soft cottons, delicate lace, flowing chiffon, and shimmering satin, all of the clothing that she creates has a skilled touch to them. She even adds to the beauty of some of the pieces by including embroidery to them. One such piece she has on view is Commission 117 which she states in the description took her 3 months to embroider. 

"BJD Kimono - Cho-Cho-San" by InarisansCrafts

InarisansCrafts.deviantart.com (Lithuania)
Unlike the above mentioned artisans, Zina creates breathtaking kimonos for her dolls. She not only aims to portray accurate representations of these traditional garments but uses authentic vintage Japanese fabrics to do so. Her gallery is full of beautiful examples of her work and would be difficult to choose if you decided to purchase something from her. 


Etsy: Inarisan's Crafts

2014 - The Year of Bad Dice Rolls

Mother's Day Memorial Picture
by Stacy J. Garrett

Many of you have probably been wondering where in the world I have been this year since 2014 has been seriously lacking in updates. Could it be that I've been on an epic journey which would allow me to level up as an artist? If that was the case, either the DM has a really bad sense of humor or the dice has been cursed to give bad rolls. On the plus side, I have been able to find ways through many of the obstacles that have come up and in the process it would seem that I have been reinventing myself as a person and an artist. So join me in your comfortable chairs with the beverage of your choice as I retell my journey of 2014. 

Wings of an Angel 
My year started like many before it, with positive hopes for a good year for business. I nor my family were prepared for what was about to happen. In February my mother, who's health had been steadily declining in the last 2 years after her fiance had passed away, had passed away at home when she and my father had returned from running some errands and picking up dinner. It happened suddenly so I could not prepare myself for suddenly seeing the light from her eyes quickly dim with the expression on her face of 'I'm sorry'. I cried my heart out that night as did my father but I was determined to carry out the last wishes my mother had - to have her cremated and placed next to her fiance at the cemetery where his remains rest, to celebrate her life with a smile, and to continue making her proud. So I have refused to cry since that day. It is hard to think that she is physically no longer with us but I have the knowledge that she is keeping an eye on me which allows me to keep smiling and that I will make her proud by continuing on improving in my work and business. I did end up designing a tattoo for myself in memory of my mother and her fiance who we were rather close with and a second father to me. 

Personal Collaboration Project
It was after everything was settled with taking care of my mother's remains and last resting place along with the 'you need to fill these out now that your relative has passed' required paperwork for the government was taken care of that I ended up getting an idea. Of course it was one of my 'late night - oh god I'm still awake at 1 in the morning- could this be a good plan' sort of thoughts which usually have a 50/50 way it could go. There are times I go ahead and post these thoughts at the time I have them then look at them the next morning wondering is my sleep deprived mind was on something the night before. This, however, was one of those rare times I decided to hold off and let it simmer in the back of my mind then wait until morning to see if I feel the same way kind of moments. 

What was going through my brain that night in late July? I had the sudden drive to create an art book with my photography friend Stacy J. Garrett, combining her photography and my paintings into an illustrated 'story' of a dreamer who's duty is to deliver messages to those in the Realm of Dreams. I was beyond excited when she jumped on board with the project idea but was not prepared to see the amount of support I ended up receiving from several other people who were willing to not only be a part of the project but to help bring my vision for it to come to life. Right now we don't have a deadline since we're working around everyone's schedules but it is slowly coming along. Once it gets a bit more fleshed out and such, we will probably be making announcements since we're aiming to have this published once it's done. 

Overwhelming Orders but an Artist Block 
Between March to about November, I had suddenly ended up receiving a large amount of orders from several customers both frequent and new. I was astonished as to the plethora of commissions but there was just one thing that was troubling me - Halfway through I was feeling burnt out and was experiencing Artist Block. It wasn't that I wasn't feeling creative. Completely contrary actually. I was having thoughts of inspiration bubbling over as if a volcano was about ready to burst. The problem? I had come to the realization that my skills as an artist were not where I wanted or needed them and it was frustrating the hell out of me. I knew I was capable of more then what I was producing but for some reason I was feeling as if I was hitting a wall that was not letting me get through to move my work to the next level. It took some time before I was able to break through that barrier. During this time of struggling, I did however end up with an unexpected opportunity which was becoming accepted as an illustrator for a small publishing company known as PDMI Publishing and have been chosen as the artist for a children's book. It will be one of those projects that I will not be able to share the work until everything's finalized and then i will be announcing things as soon as I'm able to. 

Ashes of the Phoenix, Temporarily Misplaced Artist, and Another Family Crisis
In November, things became chaotic once more when the sudden passing of a close friend occurred. My group of friends and I gathered together and gave her wife whom we are also dear friends with support and assistance to help her through the rapid change in her life. Between exchanging stories and fond memories as we celebrated our lost friend's life, I received word from the curator of the gallery I'm with that the location that they were at was being given to another business by the landlord so they were being forced to move out. The news was a bit of a mixed blessing, really, since my curator and her husband were thinking of finding another location anyways since they wanted to have a larger venue in order to represent the collective artists better. However, when speaking with her, she did express how sudden the news was and how she wished that she could have handled the situation with a little bit more grace. December ended up being our last show at the location they were at before they had to move. They are looking for a new location at the moment and planning on reopening some time in 2015. What else could possibly happen? A week after my friend's passing and just about the time that I was finding out about the gallery temporarily being misplaced, my father and I ended up getting news that his brother had been diagnosed with cancer and would be starting chemo treatments as soon as they could. Not exactly the most happy news to find out as we were preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas but we took the news in stride since there's not much that dad and I can do on a personal level.

So as you come to the end of this and wonder to yourselves how I'm able to smile after incident after incident of bad news. Honestly, I can find bits of humor in it all. Of course in order for me to pull myself through each trial, I have found that I have been reinventing myself in order to improve. One thing I have noticed about each situation is that with each moment of negativity, there has been something positive that I have been able to find. It's as if things have been balancing out. Pretty much 2014 has been my year of Chaos. For those not familiar with the reference, it means that things of old are being destroyed in order for new things to be created and that middle point which has so much upheaval as things are breaking while other forms are being created is where I have been. Will I miss those who have passed away and locations that are no longer there? Of course I will. Every day. But I have the knowledge that they are still with me in my heart and I will see them again at a later time. May not be in this life time but while I'm here, I intend on making as positive of an imprint as I can to make them proud. SO! Again I apologize for the lack of post for 2014 but I do hope that this rather condensed version of my year will give some explanation as to why I've been missing from the blog. I am planning on returning soon once things are settled and I can reorganize my thoughts on the content you have come to expect from me. 

Research before Represent

Normally I don't vent through posts within my blog and even when I'm slightly irritated over something, I can still take a light hearted approach over the situation to at least make it an entertaining read. However, this is perhaps not going to be one of those cases. This month I have had my work in 2 different art auctions - KVIE 2014 Art Auction and Pence Gallery Art Auction. This evening my painting Gentle as the Lotus went up for auction. It was also the gala event at Pence Gallery where my piece Fleeting Grandeur is currently at. Of course after a long day, I was unable to attend the gala event so stayed home to watch the live auction. 

'Gentle as the Lotus'
by Dawn Star Wood

Sadly my painting did not get as high as bids as my other pieces did in previous years . It does happen from time to time and I am aware that this year's work was perhaps not as high quality as I could have made it. This I understand and I'm perfectly fine with the fact that it just means I need to do even better for next year's entry. This is not the source of my aggravation comes from. It comes from the choice of host for the segment that my work was in. 

Usually, KVIE has 2 hosts for each half hour segment talking about the work that is being displayed. In most cases, one is just a regular host while the other is an art expert who is either familiar with artists, done research into what the inspirations was, or actually knows the artist(s) in person. This usually means that they can not only describe the techniques that were used but could describe what the artist wanted to convey. Not this time around. The individual paired up with the host for my segment turned out to be a professional interior designer. Not one word about inspiration or the story behind the piece. Technique? That it was watercolors and had a lot of fine detail. What was covered? Color. Soft natural color. How the piece was made by a 'younger artist' who 'did her own framing'. How the piece was rather feminine and the frame was masculine. No mention that I have been a donator for several years now. No mention of my previous works that have been 'Bell Ringers' (any piece that gets a bid equal or greater then the suggested retail price). To say I was disappointed is perhaps an understatement with this. 

So for those wondering about the story behind Gentle as the Lotus, it was created after the passing of my mother earlier this year and was inspired by something that I had found online called Kuan Yin's Prayer for the Abuser. I have been a fan of Kuan Yin (or Quan Yin if you prefer) art and one of the last things I had ever received from mom before she had passed was a carved jade charm of Kuan Yin and a statue of her to add to my religious statuary collection. The piece was quite personal for me and was also rather healing at the same time. 


Kuan Yin's Prayer for the Abuser
To those who withhold refuge, 
I cradle you in safety at the core of my Being. 
To those that cause a child to cry out, 
I grant you the freedom to express your own choked agony. 
To those that inflict terror, 
I remind you that you shine with the purity of a thousand suns. 
To those who would confine, suppress, or deny, 
I offer the limitless expanse of the sky. 
To those who need to cut, slash, or burn, 
I remind you of the invincibility of Spring. 
To those who cling and grasp, 
I promise more abundance than you could ever hold onto. 
To those who vent their rage on small children, 
I return to you your deepest innocence. 
To those who must frighten into submission, 
I hold you in the bosom of your original mother. 
To those who cause agony to others, 
I give the gift of free flowing tears. 
To those that deny another's right to be, 
I remind you that the angels sang in celebration of you on the day of your 
birth. 
To those who see only division and separateness, 
I remind you that a part is born only by bisecting a whole. 
For those who have forgotten the tender mercy of a mother's embrace, 
I send a gentle breeze to caress your brow. 
To those who still feel somehow incomplete, 
I offer the perfect sanctity of this very moment.

An Epic Tale of Convention Mayhem

Take a seat, my darlings, and let me tell you an epic tale of 2 artists who had a rather busy Labor Day weekend. It may not sound like much to the average person but let don't judge until the end. This starts actually nearly 4 months previously when my good friend Stacy had contacted me about being interested in vending at SacAnime and needed a booth-buddy. Familiar with the venue location and had been a vendor for Sacramento Arts Festival for 4 years, I agreed and helped her with plans and such. Within theory, everything was fitting together perfectly - prime location for our spot surrounded by popular businesses so we would have great foot traffic, everything paid on time, and friendly correspondence with the staff of the event.

 Moving forward to a week before the event, the first indication that this was going to be a bit different from the art festival occurs. Normally for MOST large scale conventions like this gives those who are vending information on what day and time the set up is supposed to be (i.e. for the Sacramento Arts Festival, that information is included in the packet of information when submitting to be chosen as a potential vendor). Stacy ends up sending me a distress message saying that she doesn't know when we were scheduled to do set up. Puzzled, I took a look at the site and noticed that it was never mentioned. It's not unheard of for this to occur from time to time but it was a little odd, especially since my poor panicked partner was not receiving any emails back on her inquiry. So in ultimate Dawn style, I went and called the Sacramento Convention Center (where the convention was to be held) and explained the situation to the head of the events office. Though I didn't receive a call back, my initial phoned in query sparked a response by email to Stacy which let us know when set up was. 

As we move forward to the day of set up, Stacy and I get everything packed up and ready to lug to the convention center. Giving directions to the back where the loading docks were, I figured that things would be set up like how the Sacramento Arts Festival had their event set up- with blue curtained 'walls' dividing the booths and having the company names with what booth number they were on the tables. Oh how wrong I was. Right as we step in, we both got a sense of something amiss. Before our eyes was a room of neatly lined up tables inside of divided up blue taped squares. Nothing was marked and the vendors who were there were as confused as we were about the set up. Let us just say that locating our table was a bit on the interesting side. Of course the entire situation allowed us to make friends with the young woman in the booth behind us for Epic Cosplay Wigs as we assisted her in setting up her area. At some point while we were trying to unload the vehicle we came in on, I jogged from our table which was on one side of the large room to the docking bay. Not a long distance, mind you, but for someone of my... fluffiness... who hasn't run since high school to suddenly sprint any distance was just a little out of my league. As I returned with a cart of merchandise, I wheezed out to my booth buddy the only words I could think of: "Stacy, don't ever let me run again unless there's a zombie behind me." Of course I didn't even think that those around us could hear me but the smirks and giggles from the comment suggested that they more then just heard me. 

An epic Deadpool sneaking around
in a Stormtrooper outfit
(photo courtesy of Stacy J. Garrett)

The convention itself was rather entertaining as I worked on mini paintings while Stacy people watched and talked with customers. There were the cosplayers who did a stunning job on their outfits, those who did a relatively alright job on what they were going for and then there were those who I really couldn't decide if they lost a bet or couldn't figure out which character to be so they mashed up as many as they could together. Of course there were plenty of the latter who caused me to pause in my work and just stare. By the last day, our fellow vendors and we were getting rather punchy. Long days filled with countless costumed customers does sort of wear on a person but the fact there was a lot of positive energy and smiling faces certainly made things much more tolerable. That is unless you're stationed right under the speaker system and they decide to give the microphone to someone who is nearly yelling into it. Nearly all of us were plugging our ears and several were commenting that someone should go up to the table to talk to them about it. A little irritated, I finally set my work aside and headed over to the table to ask them to lower the volume. The gentleman armed with the microphone apologized for not knowing and by the time I returned to the booth, they were doing a mic test to the cheers of nearly every vendor in the room. It was later when I thought the situation over that I realized that from an entire room of people of vendors and cosplayers alike, I was the only one that actually went forward to save our eardrums. Not too sure how that worked but oh well. To lighten the mood, Stacy and I ended up coming up with a random drinking game which we agreed would have either caused me alcohol poisoning or be in a drunken stupor well into the coming week days. Good times, good times. 

There was so much more to say but if you would like to see things from Stacy's point of view, feel free to check out her blog post SacAnime Recap!

Functional Decadence

There are times when adding a little bit of sparkle or just sprucing a regular item up so that it gets that response of a gasp and a "oh how beautiful" reaction is perfectly fine. Of course the creator of the pieces needs make sure that they don't go too far or stop short of 'just enough'. It's a fine line, to be sure, and is completely dependent on the person creating the piece and those who view it. Completely up to interpretation, really. Though with all of these factors, the end result is still a show of skill and patience of the creator. What started such a deep thought of common items showing a side of decadence in an other wise regular environment? I had spotted a photo of a chess set worth $600 K made by Charles Hollander Jewelers which was covered in white and black diamonds. A truly lovely set, to be sure, which I think would be lovely in a fantasy photo shoot (though personally I would be afraid of touching it). When sharing the image with a friend, she commented saying it was too much. At that moment, I found myself thinking about some of the other things I have seen over time where everyday items are turned into beautiful works of art yet are still functional. 

'Gold Playstation' by Matthew-Walk

Matthew-Walk.deviantart.com (United States) 

Though it's in his gallery, US based artist Matthew actually features something that his jeweler step father created for singer Genuine - a gold Playstation controller. In the description of the photo, he makes note that the controller is covered in diamonds and rubies. A favorite piece among the gamers that visit the page, many have voiced their drooling approval over such an extravagant show including several wishing to sell their soul in order to have the controller. 

'Custom Majora's Mask N64 with purple flake' by
Zoki64

Zoki64.deviantart.com (Slovenia) 

Slovenian artist Zoran specializes in custom repaint jobs on game controllers, ranging from the N64 to SNES to Gamecube. Each piece in his gallery was ordered by customers and is a dazzling spectacle of colors and sparkle. One such eye catching piece in the collection is a custom Majora's Mask themed N64 controller with purple flake. 

ChaeyAhne.deviantart.com (United States) 

'Celestrial Sun Astrologers Feather Quill Pen' by
ChaeyAhne

American based artist Chaey specializes in artisan writing quills. What better way for a writer to show a bit of flare and elegance then with the very instrument that they are using to create stories? Each one of her pieces are unique pieces of art. One such example of her eye for detail is her Celestial Sun Astrologers Feather Quill Pen which she notes in the description includes 'Hand painted with hand beaded celestial disc focal'. 

The Humorous Life of a Chameleon

Chameleon. 

When most people hear this term, they automatically picture a lizard able to alter its coloration in order to better blend with its environment. However it's also used to describe someone who is able to incorporate themselves into surroundings that is not native to them or change their appearance. How do I know about the latter version? It's something that I've been called for nearly my entire life. I am the type of person who actually sees it as a compliment since it means that no matter the environment, I would be able to be under the radar that I was a foreigner since appearance wise I would be overlooked since I look like everyone else around me.  

Originally it had nothing to do with what I wore but how people preserved my physical appearance. Between the ages of 3 to 8, most thought that I was adopted due to my hair at the time being straight and on the black side with my eyes being almond shaped. Compared to my father's obvious 'white American' appearance and my mother's olive completion showing her Latin heritage, people thought I was Japanese. By 5th grade, when my hair decided that it will start having it's own personality by going curly, I had the parents of my classmates think that I was an Italian boy who had a girl's name. As I got older, I had the amusing game of having people guess what ethnicity (and for a short time what gender) I was. To this day I actually haven't had anyone guess correctly what I am. Most guesses now-a-days range from European, Mediterranean, Turkish, Grecian, Sicilian, Australian, and someone from South America.

Before photo shoot
(c) Etta Jean

Where am I going with this, you may be asking yourselves. Well recently my friend, Photographer and Author Etta Jean, who knew of my chameleon nature sent me an distress call to my phone. A fellow author was in need of a photo of an Arabic or Indian woman wearing a hijab to act as the front cover for a novel she had written of her life and had tasked Etta to help come up with an image. 

Etta: Question, oh miss chameleon. 

Dawn: Yeeessssss? Should I worry when you call me that? 

Etta: I can't find any Hindu/Middle Eastern females who wear/could wear a hijab. 

Dawn: I see where you're going with this. 

Etta: Think you could be passable? 

Dawn: Maaaaayyybbbeeee >_>

We agreed that this would be the biggest test for me to see if I could pull off the look of not only a different ethnicity but a different belief system then my own. In one week I studied how a proper woman of the Islamic faith dressed, put on a hijab and wore her make up. I lost count of the amount of images I looked through and took mental notes of. Finally the day of the photoshoot arrived and I went from regular mix-breed Bohemian artist living in Northern California to a proud Arabic woman of the Islamic faith. Etta and I agreed that we would keep hidden my actual background from the author and the publishing company that they were apart of and would only bring it up once either there were guesses or if I appeared completely out of place. So the waiting game began. Then, the first comments came in from one of the publishers saying "Well, she is quite lovely and got the expression I was thinking of quite well.".  It was a nice compliment, to be sure but I was still holding my breath on what the author would say. Then this morning, it happens. I receive the following message from Etta: 

After getting dressed for photo shoot
(c) Etta Jean 

 "I am cracking up right now. It would seem that you weren't exactly what they were looking for. They needed someone a little bit more European in appearance. You were too Arabic."

I couldn't help but laugh for a good 5 to 10 minutes. My lungs burned, I was short of breath, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Unknowingly to this author, she had just given me the biggest compliment that I could ever receive from someone. The fact that I, a mutt, was able to cause someone else of a faith that is typically stereotyped as being of people of mostly Arabic decent (though other ethnicity are part of it) believed that I was of that background - I'm still astounded. So it would appear with the photos during the shoot, I did a little too good of a job of portraying what I was supposed to.

Once the other photos from the shoot are available, I will include a link but in the meantime, if you would like to follow either Etta or myself via social media, feel free to find us at the following locations: 

Etta Jean (author) on Facebook 
Stacy J. Garrett (photographer) on Facebook
Dawn Star Wood (artist) on Facebook